We are all still here!

Wow it has been awhile since I have last posted. Just wanted to let you know we are all still here and doing great. We have been staying busy with the kids. With the kids being in school four days a week and then also other things going on with them. They have been doing great in school. Madison has come a long way in her talking. She talks pretty much all the time now. We still have a hard time understanding some of her words but we are working on that. Preston has also come along way. He is getting stronger every day. He is doing a lot more crawling on all fours instead of the army crawling. He is also enjoying school and doing great. His one on one aide and him has really hit it off and we have requested her for next year also. I am very happy with her and you can tell that she really cares for Preston. She has done so much with him and is good at making sure he is supported and watched over. Gabe has been doing pretty well in school also. He had a hard time at the start of the year but has been doing better. He is a really smart boy but he struggles. It is hard knowing for sure what to do to help him when you are just the step mom. I feel like my thoughts don't matter and they don't usually. But it won't stop me from putting my two cents in. It isn't like I want something to be wrong with him or anything but if he needs help why not get it. I don't know why some parents find it so hard to accept that your child might need extra help in something. Our job as being a parent is to help our children when they struggle with something. Even knows I write this and I try to live by it, I still struggle with it at times. It is hard to except some things when it comes to your children. I have pretty much learned to live one day at a time since I had the triplets. We never know what is around the corner and I continue to count my blessing each and every night. But at times I still struggle with what is right for my children. Scott is a great support for the children, but he is not the one that goes to most of the doctor’s appointments. He isn't the one being told something different by ten different people. Everyone thinks they know what is right for your child but when it comes down to it you are that has to choose. I guess this post got way off subject. Sorry about that it has been awhile since I posted and i seem to ramble on with nothing to say. I will update with pictures and hopefully one final post for this year either tomorrow or Thursday.

Imagine!!

Got this idea from another blog that I stumbled across. I don't know if it will be as good as hers but maybe give you guys some insight of what we have went through with the triplets.

Imagine finding out that you are having triplets at 5 weeks and 6 days.

Imagine the fear that goes through your head when you find out. As are these babies going to make it, how are we going to pay for three, how are we going to be able to raise three at one time.

Imagine being 21 weeks and 5 days pregnant and being taken to the hospital due to back pain and then rushed to another hospital an hour away cause you are in premature labor.

Imagine being told over and over and over again if you have these babies before 24 weeks that they would all die.

Imagine not aloud to be out of bed for 3 weeks at all. Being on strong meds to keep the contracions away and having a stitch put in her cervix cause you are dialating.

Imagine you hit the 24 week mark and think everything is going to be good. You are aloud up now for a very small amount of time.

Imagine waking up one morning at 24 weeks and 3 days knowing something is not right. The nurse checks you and says you are dialated around the stitch and then find out baby A is breech.

Imagine laying with her head lower then your feet for 4 days trying your hardest to keep the babies safe inside you.

Imagine the fear of knowing that your babies were going to be born very premature.

Imagine the fear of laying in your bed afraid to move cause you are afraid baby's a water is going to break and he is going to come shooting out. Knowing you don't have to be 10cm dialated since he is so small and breech.

Imagine knowing that if his water broke they wouldn't be ready for him and he would most likely die.

Imagine being told that you are going to have your babies sixteen weeks early.

Imagine not being able to see your babies or hear them cry except for one.

Imagine them going to a different hospital and you are not aloud to see them until the next day. Yes the hospital was right around the corner but I always thought I would be able to hold my baby right away when I became a mommy.

Imagine seeing a baby so tiny it didn't seem possible for them to be there. They were 1lb 4oz, 1lb 9oz, and 1lb 10oz

Imagine seeing your babies for the first time. Tubes all over then, tubes down their throats.

Imagine not being able to touch them or rub them cause their nerves are not developed and it hurts them.

Imagine not being able to see their eyes for a couple of weeks cause they are fused shut.

Imagine being told that one of them has a level 2 and level 4 brain bleed. Them telling us that she would have cereberal pasly and not be worth anything.

Imagine two days later this little girl has a bowel rupture and is in septic shock. No blood pressure.

Imagine the doctors telling you to take her off the vent cause once again she would be worth nothing.

Imagine watching your 1lb baby bleed out for over 24 hours and no one knows why they can't get it to stop.

Imagine holding your daughter for the first time on a pillow cause she was to small to hold in your arms and to sick.

Imagine them not wanting to find out why your daughter is bleeding out.

Imagine your relief when they do figure it out and fix it and she starts to swell up.

Imagine your amazement when she starts doing great.

Imagine watching all three of your babies have surgery with in like 3 days of each other.

Imagine not being able to hear your babies cry until they were 7 and 8 weeks old.

Imagine having them go through more surgerys. Eye surgery for the boys and reconnection of the bowel for Madison after she came home from the hospital.

Imagine being able to bring them home after 15 weeks and 16 weeks in the hospital.

Imagine them all being hooked to apena monitors and oxygen.

Imagine after being in the hospital for so long that you are still not aloud to do much cause they could get sick.

Imagine the doctor's appts almost weekley for the first few months they were home.

Imagine knowing something was wrong with your one son and no one would admit it for awhile.

Imagine having therpeay inside the home for three years and outpatient also.

Imagine being told that your one son has spastic quadpeligic cereberal palsy and his outlook wasn't good.

Imagine one day everything was going good. You had three healthy babies at home with you when you had less then 20 percent chance of bringing any of them home.

Imagine your horror when you find one of your children passed away during his nap.

Imagine burrying your child when he was only 14 months old.

Imagine being told they do not know why your son passed away.

Imagine being told that your other son is deaf and also has cereberal palsy in his legs and now it is changed to mixed cp.

Imagine that your daughter is doing great and has no long term affects from the brain bleeds.

Imagine your son being able to hear for the first time due to cochlear implants.

Imagine watching your son learning to crawl and he is 3 years old.

Imagine still being in aww most days that you do have a good life and you have been blessed even knows you have been through more trials then someone should have to be put through.

Rough week but also a geat week!

Tuesday we took Preston to Akron Children's Hospital to see one of his specialist. It is usually a good visit. Preston was more himself around her this time around then he has ever been. So with her watching him she gave us some not so great news. I took it really hard at the time but I am dealing with it better now. She is saying instead of Preston just having Spastic Cerebral Palsy in his legs which means his legs are tight. They are now pretty sure he has mixed cp. Which means two different types of cp. The other type they are pretty sure he has is call Athetoid cp. This form means he has a lot of uncontrolled movements in his limbs. He jerks his arms and legs around alot in movements that he is not able to control. All this means that he is going to work even harder to overcome this so he is able to walk one day. Scott is upset by it some but not as much as me. This is hard on me he is getting harder and harder for me to carry and the thought of him not being able to walk for a few more years is hard. My fear of not being able to carry him around and take care of him like I am suppose to is scary. He is my son and I want to be able to help him until the day I die. I don't want someone else in my house helping me with him and that is what I am afraid is going to happen. The rest of the week went really well and the kids had fun in school. Preston is making all sorts of new sounds none of them we really know what he means but it is a start. Last night Scott had Madison in the bath and Preston crawled over to the bathroom and I picked him up. He looked at me and then at the tub and goes My Bath, Scott and I were in shock. We got him to say it one more time but he hasn't said it since. I guess it is pretty normal for kids with cochlear implants to say some stuff but not say it again for a long time or maybe it has to do with his cp I am not sure. Sorry if anything is not spelled right. For any of you that blog please tell me where the spell check button is. They updated the blog site and now I can't find it. Thanks

Prston got his gait trainer

After a long wait Preston finally got his Gait Trainer. This supports him so basically he learns how to use his legs. It is kind of like a baby walker but more advance. We have been waiting for this and then when we got it. It was a little to big so after some adjustments he got to make it move today. He still has alot to learn and he hasn't figured out that he is doing it. He keeps looking behind him thinking someone is pushing him. He was only in it a few minutes today at therpey but he did really good. It is so awesome to see him walking even if it is in the gait trainer. It just makes us one more step closer at getting him to walk. I am so proud of him and all that he has overcome. He is an amazing little boy and I am so proud that he is my son. We have a goal for him to be able to walk down the aisle at my sister's wedding. She wanted him to be the ring bearer so this is what we are going to work on. He is going to work with it a few more days at therpeay and then it will come home with us for him to work on it. Please pray that we find a house that works for us. We are not able to buy but we need a bigger place to rent. We would like to stay in our school district that we are in. We need more room for Preston to be able to use all of his equipment and to store it. I am not able to upload the little video I have of him in it. So if you are on facebook look up my page. I have a little video of him in it. Sorry if my spelling is bad they took away spell check.

Busy Week

The kids being in school four days a week is wearing me out. It is harder on me then having them home all the time. Plus therpeay one day a week as of right now but most likely will go up to two days soon at least for Preston. The kids love school. Madison first thing she does in the morning is put her book bag on and say lets go to school. I have to pry the book bag off of her so I can at least change her clothes. Preston is excited once we gets there and he seems to really like his aide. They also get to ride the big kids bus home and they are loving that. I thought they would freak out on with out me but I was wrong. Preston likes it cause of the lift. He rides the bus in his wheelchair so he rides a lift up and down on the bus. He thinks that is great. Scott was off four days cause of the holiday so we decided to put him in a toddler bed. Yes we are just moving him to a toddler bed. They are 3 1/2 years old and was still in a crib. We were worried about him falling out of bed even knows it is not a far fall but we were worried he would get hurt. So we figured it was time to take off his one rail on his crib. And boy was Maddie mad about that. She dosen't like when we change things and she gets jealous of him. Even knows she has been in a toddler bed for months. Night time he is doing really good but nap time is different story. I don't think the took a nap at all yesterday cause they kept playing in eachothers bed. I take that back Preston fell asleep out in the living room last night laying next to daddy's shoe. So either he passed out cause he was tired or daddy's shoe made him pass out. They have had school for 6 days and we already have a cold. I have been told they would catch everything but I was hopeing it would take longer then six days. Sunday we had a hog roast with the church. My dad and couple of guys from the church camped out all weekend at our church camp. They dug a huge hole and put the hog in it to roast. It was really good and we had fun today. Preston was pretty cranky so we only stayed a couple of hours. Preston also got to play some cornhole. Our church is a bunch of rednecks. But you got to love them.

Preston in his big boy bed

Them playing in Madison's bed when they were suppose to be taking a nap

The kids started Preschool!

I guess I can't call Preston and Madison babies anymore. They are officaly Preschoolers. They started school on Wednesday and loved it. The teachers said they both did really good and seemed to enjoy it and Madison is ready to go back. She was mad at me cause I picked her up from school and she wanted to ride the bus home. I did pretty good today but have had a couple of breakdowns. It is hard when your babies grow up and it seems like it happenend over night. It is a good thing that they don't need me as much but it hurts me also. It is hard to explain but I am sure most mom's understand. I was expecting them to throw major fits and neither one of them did. They didn't even care that I left them which is good cause it would of been harder on all of us. But a part of me wanted that cause that would mean they still need and want their mommy. I guess we are doing something right and my babies are turning into big kids. Today was a hard day the kids did great at school and really do enjoy it. But I have had a very hard emotional day and have been very depressed. The school the kids go to is basically for kids with special needs. That mean speech issues or wheelchair bound. I had a parent in front of me and Preston ask that her son be moved. She didn't want him by Preston. I took this very personal and probbly no need to. She had no reason to ask for her son to be moved unless she thought her son was going to hurt Preston. But when she said it she looked at Preston like he had five heads or something. I took this very personal. I had a hard time with letting the kids start school. I wanted them to stay home another year. I knew it would be good for them and they love it so I feel that it is the best thing for them. But I didn't expect this to happen with school just starting. I am hopeing to talk to her next week and ask her why she didn't want him next to Preston. I could of took it the wrong way but I really don't think I did. Here are some pictures of my big kids.

First day of School before we left the house

Madison in her seat

Preston and his one on one aide Pam

Second day of School when we were getting out at school

1 week 2 go

My babies or should I say big kids start school a week from today. It is so hard to believe and this mommy is having a hard time with it. I am starting to get excited but I am also scared to death. Since these babies were born I have always been with them. It is exciting that they are starting school but it is also sad. It is hard to watch Preston and Madison grow up and not have Hayden with us. I see all their first things and didn't get to experience it with Hayden. I just pray no one in his class has the name Hayden cause that would be hard. We met with most of his therapist and his teachers today. We also met with his one on one aide and went over everything. we had to go over his implants everything about them. We also had to go over what he can and can't do. He got to see the classroom he would be in and he was excited. I am taking Madison tomorrow to check out her classroom. Wish me luck