Today is 2 years since Hayden passed away. 2 years since we last held him. 2 years since we last heard him cry. 2 years ago since I saw his beautiful blue eyes. My heart is breaking right now all over again. Every year I wish this date wouldn't come. I don't want to go to the cemetery anymore to check my son's final resting spot. I want to go into his room and see his sweet face. I want to be able to tuck him in at night or give him a kiss on his sweet lips. I want to see him talking to his daddy at night after his bedtime bottle. I want to see him work so hard to get a toy. I want to hear his first words, see him doing everything for the first time. Even knows we don't know what he would of been able to do because of his CP. As a mommy of a special needs child we would of cherished everything he did for the first time. I still remember him laying in his isolate looking around. I could always count on him being awake when we were in the NICU. I don't think he ever slept. As soon as his eyes opened when he was two weeks old I am not sure they ever closed. He had that look in his eyes that he was wiser then his age. He taught us alot but as time goes it is getting harder to remember the little stuff about him. Or to find someone to talk to him about. I love when people at work let me talk about him usually it is my customers but they are about the only people and that is a very few of them. I am not really able to talk about him at home anymore and that kills me. It is hard to talk about him but at times it is what I need. I carried him in my belly, I gave birth to him, he will probbly be my last child. He was the baby of the group. When I first found out I was pregnant with triplets I wanted all girls. I didn't want boys. I am so happy I had Preston and Hayden it wouldn't of been the same with three girls. Plus Maddie is enough drama for me. I use to tell Hayden all the time that he was my boo boo. It was because I wanted a little girl and I got Preston and Hayden to. So Preston was bo and Hayden was my boo boo. I would call him my boo boo and he would just laugh. Just please keep us in your thoughts and prayers today as we celebrate Hayden's life. He might of been with us only a short time but he has made an everlasting impression on all of our hearts.
Progress Report - 2nd Grade
11 years ago
3 comments:
You are always in our hearts and prayers .. especially during these tough times. What an excellent picture presentation. Hayden is looking down with those beautiful eyes and a huge smile, I am sure.
We love you. The Meshews
Jaclyn...you can always talk about your precious Hayden with me if you want. You can email me from my blog...please do. It isn't fair that as more time passes people want to hear about our angels less. Only another bereaved mother can truly understand this and I do!
What a lovely slideshow tribute. It looks like Hayden was a fighter from the beginning and grew to be a loving, smiley little baby. I am so sorry for your loss.
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